I was aware that I was not doing very well with my health for the last one-month, but one thing I was sure of is that it was nothing serious. I had taken some de-wormers because simply because I thought I had some worms, which made me feel so uncomfortable. I could not eat much as I am used to, most of the time I had no appetite for food, and I felt same craps in the stomach.
I made the decision to see my doctor, I called his office to let him know that I am unwell and I needed his appointment. However the nurse who answered the phone seemed to share the some thought with me that this sounds an emergency and I need to go down at ER and get checked. The fortunate thing at this moment was that the ER was only about 4 minutes walk from the place I was attending a seminar.
From Chaplain to patient
At this time I thought my visit to the ER was a quick one and soon or latter I would be asked to go home after the check up. I had a few patients I had planned to visit this afternoon. To my surprise I was admitted to the ER as a patient. I remember I had not taken my lunch, I thought that I would be back soon to eat.
A male nurse who first attended me by giving me the gown also spread the bed for me and he said “after you put on this (giving the gown), make yourself comfortable on this bed” I thought he was not serious since I had explained that I did not feel that sick. But in the course of the admission process, I realized that for sure I am becoming a patient in the hospital, something I had not anticipated.
The second person to attend me was a laboratory technician who came in and said he needed to draw blood out of me for test. I was moved from the room where I was and put in a different room in the same unit. This time I was more concerned about what these medics are up to. I was even more surprised that he drew 8 small bottles of blood from me. I became more nervous for I did not understand how he could get all that blood for a test in the lab.
Doctors visit
A doctor familiar to me come in and introduced himself, and said that he his filling in for my doctor. He did several things with my stomach including using his own fingers to press hard below the diaphragm. Each time he asks, “Does it hurt there?” There wasn’t much pain but I needed doctors’ attention to be able to understand what has been happening the last one month. He finally said he is going to check if I had appendicitis.
Cats Scan
The next place I found myself was the Catscan unit where I had to go several stages to complete the examination. I was scared to death since I could not remember having seen a doctor the whole of my life. I knew that if this was the problem I had, than it is not uneasy one since I could remember my own sister who had lots of struggle with the same problem. However, in my mind I could say this is not it. But on the other hand I kept on thinking how serious it would be.
Interaction with care givers
In my practice as a chaplain, I have always liked the way the group in this unit works. On various occasion I have been to the Unit, and I have close relationship with same of the people working here. Several of them came in to see me and wished me well. I was more scared when all my peers came in turns to see me. This reminded me of patients I visit in other Units.
I did not want them see me as a very sick person; thus I would tell them that I do not feel very bad. It was for me when patient transport person came by and asked to take me to the Cats Scan Unit on level two. I requested him to let me walk rather than push me on the bed. My fear here was that people that I know would see me in the patients’ bed and wonder what is happening. This was the most difficult time for me as a patient considering that I have never been to hospital before.
My own worries and those of my family
I was worried that if something was wrong with my appendix, I would go for surgery, which brought me the thought of how I see people suffer in SICU after surgery. I could not stop thinking how painful it would be, and how I will face lots of emotional charges after the surgery.
All this time in the ER, I did not want my wife to know because I was not sure what the diagnosis would be. I was afraid that if she realizes that I am in hospital she would come over leaving the children alone. By this time our three girls were nothing but babies.
On the other hand I was afraid that I would get some sick off days which would interfere with my learning process and my chaplaincy experience. I did not like imagining my peers coming to see me and how they would empathize with me.
Teamwork appreciated
Over and over again I have heard patients say that they have been given all the care they may want to ask in the hospital. I felt the some when each member in the caregiving team came by my bed. There were several nurses who came at different times, the patient liaison, the doctor who made it clear that he was covering for my physician, all my peers, my coordinating Chaplains and my supervisor who was with me all the along. I could now understand how patients feel when they are visited.