Maria is only 23 when she lost her husband in a random get away shooting. She has two young children whom she has to single handedly take care of. Maria processes her grieve and emotions with the chaplain at the hospital’s surgery waiting area where she and her younger sister were waiting. She is very distraught at this time; she wondered aloud how she is going to live the rest of her life without her husband.
Maria also worries about her children who at this time are 2 and 4 years. Chaplain learnt that Maria’s husband had gone out drinking with friends and Maria and her sister were to accompany them but they didn’t. The two friends to Maria’s husband also perished in the shooting.
Even in the midst of grieve she is thankful that she did not accompany her husband to what turned out to be a deadly outing. She says that she is lucky to be alive to take care of her children.
Mother’s death: A few months after the death of Maria’s husband, her mother was admitted in hospital with live threatening illness. Constantly Maria visited her and prayed that she makes it to see her children grow up to becoming adults. Her long stay in hospital minimizes hope for Maria.
Chaplain’s ministry was now more focused to Maria and her other siblings who were so fearful that their mother might die. Day in day out, the chaplain met with Maria and her siblings for moral and spiritual support. During family contact the chaplain learnt that Maria’s father left the family and married another woman who lives with him out in another town. Maria’s only uncle (brother to her mother) was incarcerated for assaulting a police office during a domestic dispute with his wife. While Maria’s mother’s health was deteriorating everyday, at 23 being the eldest in the family, Maria had the burden of decision making concerning health care plan for her mother, that of her children and her siblings.
Her emotions ranged from denial, grieve, acceptance among others.
After almost a month in the hospital, Maria’s mother became critically ill and moved to Intensive Care Unit. Her chance to survive was diminishing every moment. She is battling with cancer that has metastasized in her who body shutting down her major organs.
Family conference and ethics committee: A family conference was called to address Maria’s mother plan of care. Maria and her sister (about 20 years) were present. They had invited a male friend to accompany them in this meeting.
It was clear from the attending doctor that treatment options have been exulted, and the family should be aware of this and start preparing incase the patient expires.
The news of lack of treatment option was not music in Maria and her sister’s hears. Still grieving over the death of her husband, the thought of losing her mother was at this time unfathomable.
A few days after the family ethics meeting, the family was called in the hospital. Maria’s mother blood pressure was going dropping so quickly.
Maria was the first to arrive in the hospital with her two children and a male friend. At bedside the atmosphere was very somber, grieve filed the room as Maria say final goodbyes to her mother.
Moments later her sister arrives with a few friends. Several hours passed by and the reality of the loved one dying became a reality. Denial was replaced with acceptance. Maria started to focus of death as healing, observing that her mother does not deserve to suffer anymore.
The patient died two days after the family conference.
Maria becomes pregnant: About a year after the death of her mother, Maria was admitted in postpartum unit of the hospital. She is three months pregnant and has panics attacks which leave her shaken and afraid that she may lose her baby.
Orders for physic consult were ordered for Maria who was at this time was much shaken. She is referred to a physic hospital, but she feels that she is not a candidate for physic follow-ups
At bedside in Maria’s hospital room are her grandmother and father (seemingly young than Maria) to the child she is expecting
Maria voices her concerns about carrying her pregnancy to team. She worries that if she does she might end up getting sick herself and might die, leaving her other two children without a parent.
Does she think of abortion? This is not something she has voiced out yet. Efforts to explore on what options she has were unfruitful.
It is evident that death has become a major constant worry in Maria’s life
The next time Maria comes to the hospital, she was visiting with her uncle. Her uncle is recovering from pneumonia. He is forty seven years old who has never been in hospital the whole of his life.
When her sister died (Maria’s Mother) he was in jail for assaulting a public servant after a domestic call from his ex-wife. He was not present to support the family during his sister’s death. He admitted that he was not even informed by the family that she has died. He also was there when Maria’s husband died. He observed that Maria’s husband was like a son to him
By now Maria is three weeks to delivery date. She was accompanied by her grandmother who is in her 80’s. A few minutes visit with Maria at the main exit of the hospital; she indicated that she has a big burden on her shoulders. She has bills to pay, look after her children and he siblings. She has now moved to the house that belonged to her mother, and she complains that there is a lot to keep up with. She says that her hair is turning grey at 24. She looked tired with her tummy showing.
Maria recalls her last visit to the hospital as a patient herself when she had come in with panic attacks and indicated that the recommendation for mental evaluation was not for her at the time.
She seems stable healthy and looking forward for the birth of her third baby.